Writings and Poems of Franz

 People often see me as cheerful, soft-hearted, and stupid/ somehow ignorant (maybe I truly am).  I would say I am not. I am a very serious person. I am arrogant. I am stupid in a way that I am perfectionist that I ask multiple questions most of the time repeatedly to build my trust to any subject.  I set boundaries. I am brutally honest person. I have difficulties to say no sometimes but if I do, it won't be unapologetic. I love being misunderstood. I sometimes forget who I am and writings like this makes me remind me of who I am and what I wanted to be.

Sa babeng aking mamahalin,                           Kasalukuyan kong inihahanda at ipinagbubuti aking sarili. Kaya naman huwag kang magalala kung marunong ba akong maglaba o magkula ng damit.Kailanman ay hindi ko pagsasamain ang dekolor at ang mga puti. Magaling din akong magsukat ng sinaing o magsangag ng hindi naubos na kanin. Kung nais mo naman ng masarsang ulam, kaya kitang ipaghain ng adobo basta't habaan mo lamang ang iyong pasensya dahil sa youtube lamang ako natuto.                         Hindi ko alam kung kailan ka darating o makikilala subalit kung ito nga'y plano Niya, alam kong ito'y sa tamang oras at panahon. Sana lamang rin ay tama ang outfit ko at hindi ako mukhang dugyutin sa oras na iyon. Wala naman akong inaasahang lugar. Hindi ka rin naman siguro galing sa ibang planeta kaya't sa mundong ibabaw parin tayo ...

       I feel burnt out today and the best I know to make myself calmer is to write. Just type what bothers in my mind and what my consciousness wanted to release.      In a way in which I no longer restrict myself if my words are repetitive or my spellings were wrong or even I speak in Tagalog. Kaya naman let me list nalang what runs in my mind. 1. I hope my thesis groupmates realize what their priorities are and make time of it. 2. I hope I can be better handling things and situations., 3. Next time I will allow myself more to be wrong. 4. And I why the heck I avoid myself to write?! .....and the moment that I start writing my thoughts just vanished like a bubble been plucked. and for hours of being honest of myself I just realized that I am writing outwardly before. I write to make people and readers amazed and amused of my writing which is I can never get control. What I really want is to just write. Regardless of the grammar, spelling, language, o...

                     I don't know how to read a bible. Yes, you read it right.                        Maybe you're planning to close this tab of your google chrome  now as this blogpost now leads to a "gospel thing" topic. But please, have more minutes to continue. This story; had a special piece in my life.                  It was mid of my senior high school year when I realized that life is short and the life that I'm living is only for myself. As a man, I want myself to be seen by other people as strong as steel, as brave as lion, even though to myself I am not. That time I take away my pride and ego. Back then, I was not that close with my sisters so I texted a friend of mine whom I trust and asked her.                       "...

            Medyo matagal din kitang naikulong sa ilusyon na dapat mo akong gustuhin pabalik, hanggang sa ang kakayahan mo ay unti unti ko nang nalimitahan.                            Kaya naman noong huling beses na lumayo ako sayo nang walang anumang pasabi, alam kong isa ito sa mga bagay na kailanman ay hindi ko pagsisisihan.                            Sa kasalukuyan na isinusulat ko itong liham. Lubos kong inaamin na gusto pa rin kita. Mayroon pa ring parte ng aking pagkasino na hinahanap ang pagibig mo. May mga kathang isip ang pumupuyat sa akin sa gabi na baka puwede pa ang tayo. Mayroon pa ngang palaiisipan sa akin, na para bang hinihintay mo lamang kung ano ang susunod kong gagawin. Kung tuluyan na ba akong susuko o kung babalik ba ulit ako sayo. Ito ang dahilan kung bakit paulit ulit akong bumabalik...

She’s a woman whose guileless, persistent, and sharp Who speaks with gentle, but can also make you fall off deceit, Her lines are like an excerpt from an aged novel   It was the moment that I saw her, That I realized focusing unto a star Is a kind of setting aside minutia of time   All negativity dissipated An intangible proof that loving her is an artistic arbitrary A great piece of my existence   Makes me think what kind of creed I am practicing If that was waiting for an epoch with her smile I’ll strike countless vicissitudes keeping on my back. If she needs axiomatic conclusion Having her back is a premise. " A some sort of poem that I came up with from unfamiliar words that I've encountered throughout the day. I never taught this was this hard haha

     Taking a picture of my current table so I can look back at it 10 years from now. I hope that you are all doing well. Have a great day ahead!

                                               These past few days, I started to wake up early around three o'clock in the morning but I then realized that even I know how early I am, I always miss to see how the sun rise. Every morning,I do some sort of online tutoring. The time I sit on my table is considered as my hustle time, it's consider as lucky day if I finished the task earlier around eight o'clock.                              And then, I already feel tired. That early.Plus the negativity (chismakers) of neighbors, some sort of misunderstaing at our house. I still want to do more things but my body seems like to neglect and to rest. I always try to push myself to my lmits. But always find myself resting. But atleast I tried didn't I?    ...

                   Back then, I always prevent myself to wake up early.Things are cluttered all around the house and it annoys me a lot so the first thing I am doing to greet a good morning is to clean the house. But not until I see thing differently.                 "Maybe it's an opportuniy for me to practice neatness if I already have my own house"                "Maybe it's some kind of reason , a purpose so I should wake up early"                 "Maybe It could be a gateway to my productivity, after I clean, I'll run, then I'll do my daily tasks"                 "It's a chance to serve, my mama will be proud of me."                  I just realized that there is no better wa...

      I often hear people telling that it's not right to assess yourself. But, not on me. I love analysing and judging myself. It's challenging and keeps me right on track with the things I value.    Do you complain often of "feeling bad" and if so, what is the cause?      No, I know that every problem I have is only byproduct of my own incompetence. When promlems emerge and I am starting to feel bad. I always I ask myself how can I shift my mood and my focus to something more productive. Do you find fault with other people at the slightest provocatio n?     No, I simply ask myself what is their intention. I am practicing myself to learn to understand people. Do you frequently make mistakes in your work? If so, why?     No, not o often.  If so, it is because of multitasking that unables me to focus on my work. Are you sarcastic and offensive in your conversation?     Yes.I'm sarcastic. I often ch...

With ths week's journal, allow me to use this also as my annual reflection and integrity report. Here I will gather up some questons and answer with all he things I've gotten through out the year. I'm telling you, as you start reading you will soon realized that this is just like my other journal. So please hang on tight and tag along. What are you feeling at the moment?     I feel mentally exhausted. I feel my head somehow aching. Pressing. What are you doing 1 year ago?      I am playing ,obile games, chasing pleasure, wasting time on social media. What are the things you are dreaming of before?     I dream of fancy things, I just keep on dreaming back then. What are the promises you told yourself before?     Promise  to be better?     Promise to not use people.     Promise to be a man. What are the If-only-if things you told yourself before?     If only I was rich.        ...

      I always encounter this kind of meme from the Matrix movie. Red pill or blue one? Make your choice.  First I wanted to thank you being here again and I appreciate you reading my stories and writings. This serves me as journal to reflect and to help me understand myself more. Hope this add value to your life too.     Things getting more difficult everysingle day for me. Starting the day with no push or the feel when I doesn't even want to start the day, wanted to sleep more. Do nothing all day but end up exhausted at night. It's tough. It's not what I wanted to be.      If I continue being like this, bad habits will compound. It will kill my time, my dreams will sink over time, and my soul cannot be found in no time.      I have two choices. Compromise, or Persevere.     Accept the thought that I cannot do anything. Deep dive into the illusion that everything will be fine. Sleeping at night praying, hoping for so...

                  One day. In a retrospect, the years of struggle will strike the most beautiful.       I can't remember exactly how my childhood went except those times when my mom will hit me for no reason, or when she caught me playing or enjoying something. I don't know the reason why but there is also the time when she throw away a pansit canton over me. Maybe that is just her coping mechanism when she's in her hardest pace on that time. Still, it hurts a bit remembering those.       When I got into senior-high school, this is where things got interesting. I have friends with same interest. They help me have a teanage life. I've got professors how become my mentors and friends. Circle of friends who let me get in with their travel goals even I don't have any money on my pocket. I feel really welcomed with them. I've enjoyed a goodlife of every trip I've taken.    ...

                                                                                                                                            Weeks ago, the author wrote on his previous story that he will update this blog everyweek. It was also written on his profile, telling that he will be active on weekends. But  weeks already passed, the author of this blog haven't publish anything yet. As expected, he won't last. He's a bubble.            It 's six o'clock in the morning.                 ...

                 Months ago, I've decided  to write my own book. Then life came. It wasn't kind. There are so much resistance contrast to that dream. I wasn't good at English, my grammar sucks, words were redundant, or you might even encounter wrong spellings of words from my blog posts. (I would love if you'd correct me.) But damn it, I am commited. This might take some time, this might take a lot of work but the weight of my dreams is greater than the hardships I might encounter. It's been decided, I will go through an endless refinement and continous improvement. I will overcome my untrue limitations.                   In order to write this dream book of mine, I had to take it step by step, little by little.                  Back then, I used to journal my memorable days on a worned out pocket notebook that I've bought on a s...