Choose One

 

    I always encounter this kind of meme from the Matrix movie. Red pill or blue one? Make your choice. First I wanted to thank you being here again and I appreciate you reading my stories and writings. This serves me as journal to reflect and to help me understand myself more. Hope this add value to your life too.

    Things getting more difficult everysingle day for me. Starting the day with no push or the feel when I doesn't even want to start the day, wanted to sleep more. Do nothing all day but end up exhausted at night. It's tough. It's not what I wanted to be. 

    If I continue being like this, bad habits will compound. It will kill my time, my dreams will sink over time, and my soul cannot be found in no time. 

    I have two choices. Compromise, or Persevere.

    Accept the thought that I cannot do anything. Deep dive into the illusion that everything will be fine. Sleeping at night praying, hoping for something to change. Start another day with the fear of being a failure.  Lately, I'm in that pool. I am drowning on a five feet deep pool of lies. I manipulate myself to do the easy path. I compromised. Got nothing, and lost time.

    I am currently fighting with myself, almost every minute for everything that I should be and shouldn't be doing. 

    I have dreams to accomplish. Task to be done. Things that I love to doing. I just need these things to get started.  But  here comes again the mind with the easy path.

    "It's okay, you can do it next time."

    "You're already tired, take a rest for a week."

    "You can't do it now."

    Now I'm fucked up.

    Luckily the mind with a tough path is nearing. A fight like fliptop battle will eventually getting start. 

    "No, you are wasting your time. You're not good enough, do better"

    "If you won't do it now, what would you do? Scrolling? Stop fooling yourself."

    "Sleep when you're done not when you're tired."

    "Just do it now."

    I have a read a saying before "There is no such things as truth, until you believe."

    So thus everything that will come up with your mind. Those excuses, the fear. It's all a lie. There is no such thing as certain until it occur.

    I think this is where I fucked up. The excuses I keep telling on myself. If there would only a block button on my brain for that kind of thinking. I would press that with no hesitation. Because everytime I started hearing those, I also started thinking of things on what if I just compromise with my situation riht now. Things will be alright, right? Guess what, when we accept these things as facts. We're are now caught up on our own illusion. We end up dreaming doing nothing.

    Hope we all start also chose to persevere. To be the push we need. Our dreams will be a long journey. Not a usual ups and downs but most of the time full of setbacks. It requires strenght to keep moving forward.

    May we all do our best to neglect the things that won't benefit us. To get ourselves out from the lies that burried us from our goals. May we all seek help to our almighty God to purge and guide us on our long journey. I know. . It's not only your dreams, but the things that will make yourself and your family proud. It won't be eas, but surely it will be worth working with. .

    Stop day dreaming, start doing things, take risks, fail early and note every lessons you've had. That's how we make our journey worth it.

    Make this your year and be the best version you can be. We all are going to make it. 

    And remember...

   "Maybe it's too early, but later it will be too late."

    Your warmest super hero,

Franz