Lively Struggles

           

    One day. In a retrospect, the years of struggle will strike the most beautiful.

     I can't remember exactly how my childhood went except those times when my mom will hit me for no reason, or when she caught me playing or enjoying something. I don't know the reason why but there is also the time when she throw away a pansit canton over me. Maybe that is just her coping mechanism when she's in her hardest pace on that time. Still, it hurts a bit remembering those. 

    When I got into senior-high school, this is where things got interesting. I have friends with same interest. They help me have a teanage life. I've got professors how become my mentors and friends. Circle of friends who let me get in with their travel goals even I don't have any money on my pocket. I feel really welcomed with them. I've enjoyed a goodlife of every trip I've taken.

    Currently, as a third year college on our local university the same school where I attended senior-high scool. I didn't quite remember why I chose this course but mainly because this is where I know I might excel and second maybe it's something that catch my interests. My classmates were really cool too. They're wide open to real world. They help me grasp opportunities. They're hustling while studying. I am inspired. I want to do the same.

    And then pandemic hits, corona virus striked.

    My will to study despite of the crisis been challenged. I worked on a side job as a water delivery boy. I come to a point that I am really in adulting. I have to learn to be independent. I need to.

    During the vacation, after complacency and doing nothing for almost a month. Playing video games and RPGs. God worked on me. He sent me an unspoken message. Believe me or not, but it sounds like this. "Franz, you're not supposed to be that way. It is still not too late, live like how you play your games. Work hard on your items. Farm. Upgrade yourself.." 

    Funny right? And kind of weird. But I just did.

    My life was never been easy even before. I am not rich nor can buy things that I want. Limited to resources and opportunities. But these struggles are not mine.These are just things brought to me by circumstances.

    I want to feel the pain that I chose to live. I want the stuggle of my own decision makings.

    So I sold my bike that I've that I've saved so hard when I was still working. Bought  some personal development books. Study things. Exploring what are my opportunities, dreams, strenghts, and interests.

     This is where I have gotten now. While keeping my studies as a College Student, I also pursuing trading and investing opportunities and maintaining my blog and keep writing everyweek.

          I am not really doing well right now. I am having a hard time to dicipline myself. To follow my priorities. To say "no" to things I should not be doing. I am focusing to much on myself that i have too little time to my family.

         This is the struggle that I've decided to take. 

         I think it's nice handling these kind of problems early in my life. The difficulty of balancing my time, family, and life. The daily stress of trading. The the struggle of cramming in class activities. The struggle of learning, reading books, and writing. The hardest part of execution and diciplining myself. I chose not get comfortable. The daily stretch of my life.

         It's really getting more difficult every single day.

        These pain are better than the pain of regret of not doing and just merely wishing for another day that something might change. Already been there.

          It's really our decision to make. I'm glad you come up to this point again. Hope you're doing well on your own journey. I'm praying and cheering for you too. 

           And remember. "Always do what your soul ask you to do."

           It  is surely not going to be easy. "And then one day. In a retrospect, the years of struggle will strike the most beautiful."

            

        

I would love to know some of your stories too on comments.

Your warmest superhero,

Franz