Writings and Poems of Franz

I am writing this as a testament of God's love for me.           In my previous days of living, I was constantly in a chase. Finding what's the next good thing. What could make my life easier? As if I should be doing something right now. Lavishing myself in spending, shopping, eating outside, and finding happiness in the external world. I never felt fulfilled. There's always something better or greater that I have to chase next.           Not until this night. Praying. Asking God for guidance and assistance. Truly, when you ask as His child, He will respond. His to mine was immediate. A voice called me, Share Jesus today. And I do to my brother. Then the Holy Spirit led me to hug my brother. I was like, Oh Jesus, you're horrible. Why at this hour or time? Then He said to me, “Just follow”, and you will be rewarded. I didn't let the time pass because I know that I may miss the opportunity. I did it.       ...

What am I even thinking this time?              Where am I right now? Am I better? What have I accomplished? What more can I accomplish? I just know that there's more I can accomplish. I can be more. The only person that is stealing me from that  from my future self is me.              If  I can lookback, learn, and evaluate. I am way too good for a short period of time and they I would drift off. Later on I will realized that I spent so much time drifting. I know God has better plan for me, Yet I always force things I decided for myself. Abandoning wisdom, a gift from God.              I am sorry for putting my woman together with my own misery, Instead of righteousness, Mama Mary pray for me that I may be forgiven, I get to put my woman in lustful situation. May you help me redefine my love for her for as a real love.           ...

I said to myself. I will be successful, so that I can be a son to my father. Treat him to restaurants, buy him whatever he wants, give him gifts. But none of those really matters. Nothing will substitute for the real love a father needs. They need no cars or foods in fancy restaurants. They just want their child. To be with them. I just want to be a son to my father. To make him feel he is my father and I am his son who cares for him. I just missed my father. 

It's been day's now since I've not posted. Missed many days ad felt like I am no longer worthy of any advancement. Or I somehow lose all the progress that I built. Those thing that keeps running on my mind. I need to get back on my control once again.  I don't know exactly what I should do next. Probably habits, routines, beliefs, principles, mission statements. I am the creative force of my life. Wherever I am right now. I can still manage to get where I want. Regardless of  how long it would take. I know it. I know exactly how it feels. I am proactive. Above all, I have God who overcome the world. Anything is possible. I am not stuck. I am just blinded or somehow misdirected a little bit. I have the power inside of me to change my life into positive. My life seem tilted right right now, but I guess it 's a great thing since I can still see the whole picture.

I am a private school teacher of a quite small institution. And you maybe  guessing it right away, we're quite understaff. And because we lack people to work on a project, as a teacher we are asked to lend some help for some.  As an ICT Teacher, I've been marked as part of called Research and Development Team, but basically it's just a team for marketing and promoting the school. Letting the school be known to others. It's quite a lot of task because the first projects are to create some brochures templates, tarpaulins, video plus a deadline not a strict one but of course put some pressure on the back.   And then questions came to my mind. Will I still do this work if I am not getting paid or won't get any credit from my works? Why does it feels like it is embarrassing to accept this job? Like "Pinapagod mo lamang sarili mo hindi ka naman bayad dyan. G na G ka pa." Why do I think that other people would look at me like, "Why are you so cra...

Lately I've thought that I've grown lot spiritually. Like my spirit gets better. Little do I know that it is no brainer to tell such thing and I will always fall short to God's glory. It is God being good to me. Yet! I am not being good to Jesus. By reflecting, I realized that my relationship with God is one way. It's only Him being good to me. It's only me giving up my baggage on Him. It's only me putting on Jesus all my burdens in life. It's all me putting Jesus in my position for my sins. It's only me who Put's in the name of JESUS when everything my life falls apart. Its only me calling his name when there's stresses in my life. But when it's God's turn to call me by my name and He wants me to carry my cross. I turn my back away. I am closing my hearts to Him. Not until I need God again.  That's how I can describe my relationship with God.  Sounds....erggg right? But God is so Good. He always call me by my name. My spirit grown a ...

 It is first Friday of our teaching on our school and it ended with a half day for students and a seminar for us teachers. In that seminar, our school invited another branch of La Consolacion which is LCUP where they introduced a Graduate School like for masteral and doctoral. Amazing right? Just as how also they present the discount and the upside. On surface, it seems like it's really interesting to have that MaEd suffix at the end of my name. But the feeling didn't last. I know that it is not something that I want or impressed me.  For me I want something big. I want to really work on something. Something that would give value. Not something on thesis paper or added letters on my name. I think I better improve my skills or create my own business. To actually try, fail, and learn from it.  To actually execute and do something. To master myself and surrender myself to God's promise.